I just am...who I am...
by Kallan
Summary: (weird title, ne...?)Well, this is just a small part of a Kenato/Yamaken/Yaken thing that I just felt like writing. ^-^ Ken goes out with the rest of the gang, and finds that a certain blond is starting to hit on him... what will ken do...? ^-^ R&R, p
1. Thoughts...

Ichiban Kenato Fic- I just am. 

~*Disclaimer*~ 

I do not Own Digimon. Toei, Saban, and others do, so don't sue me! Ah, if only I did, then... *giggles a bit...* Yamato Sama! Ken Sama! *-* (aside from that, I also don't own the song "Negai kanaeru Kagi", It's Yamato's song... and I really loved it... so I just used it here for writing purposes...) 

Ken- Well... she also doesn't own TV Tokyo either for that matter. 

Sakura- o.O;; Ken? OMG, it's Ken Sama!!! Well, I was just writing a story about you! 

Oh, yeah.... 

But on the other hand, I DO OWN THIS STORY! 

Ken- and she owns other named non-digimon-characers, I think.... 

Sakura- Well, this is just a Kenato/ Yaken/ Yamaken fic for you to enjoy... a bit angsty, so if you're squeamish, DO NOT READ! Yaoi/ Shounen ai involved. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED! 

~*Dedication*~ 

To Kupoke chan, the way biggest best friend in the whole wide world! (and anyhow Kupoke Chan, I thought that I could at least do something for an EXTREMELY belated b-day present for your post-post-post-post happy 4^th of July b-day, ne? ^-^ ) I hope that you'll like it! Aside from that, I also thank you or all the animé that you've lent me... ^_^ Arigatou Gozaimasu! 

~*Sakura Soryuu Fujisaki Langely*~ 

(NOTE-this would take place after everything has happened, when the second DD's are in high school... seniors. ^-^) 

**I just am** 

Part one. 

Ken was walking down the street, coming back from soccer practice, and as usual, felt a bit of a rush after playing, as well as a slight fatigue trying to get a hold of him. But, as usual, he wouldn't hear of it... 

When he got home, his mother was not there, nor was his father. 

He just sighed, went to his room, and unloaded his things on top of his bed. Minnomon was waiting for him there. 

"Ken chan!" The little green thing just threw itself at him, and thus gave him a glomp. 

"Oh... hey Minnomon..." his confidence was not there like usual... something seemed to be amiss... 

"What's wrong, Ken chan...?" said Minnomon, a bit worried this time, seeing that Ken was now depressed really worried him now... 

"Remember how I used to be in the top of the classes?" 

"Uh-huh..." 

"Well... it seems that I'm losing my touch... I'm actually moving a bit farther down the line... and aside from that, I just don't care that much about school... I just simply don't know what the hell is wrong with me..." 

"You just lost your focus... all you need to do is to focus on something, and then you'll get that back. I just know you can, Ken chan!" 

He just looked at his little Digimon partner, gave a slight mirthless smile, and said 

"I'll try and do that." 

* * * 

His mother came home a couple of two hours later, while Ken was deeply entrenched with his studies for his trigonometry test for the following day. 

Then, there was a ring... the phone was ringing. 

"Hello," said Mrs. Ichijouji in her trademarked cheery tone, "this is the Ichijouji residence! How may I help you?" 

"Uh... this is Hikari. I was just calling to see if I could talk to Ken for a little while. Do you think I can?" 

His mother just smiled snuggly to herself, and said "Ken, phone call for you!" 

Ken, who was then just paying attention to his mother's words, just complied by saying "Hai, Okaa san, I'll be right there in a second!" 

~ ~ ~ 

"Hello?" 

"Oh, hey Ken! This is Hikari." 

"Oh, hey... what's up that you're calling me instead of mailing me?" 

"Well, I just wanted to tell you if you wanted to come to a party with all of the gang. You know, us, and the older digidestined. We're going to my friend's party, her name's Sakura Fujisaki. She's in your class, right? Well, we were hoping that you'd come, since we'd think that you might want to have a bit of fun with us, and not having to worry about anything happening in the Digital world...so... how about it...?" 

Ken just sat there on the stool that was beside his phone... thinking... and then just simply stated "Okay, but I'll have to ask Okaa san first. Be right back." 

After a gleeful consent on part of his mother, he was told when and how he was going to be picked up, and where Minnomon would be put while he would be away. 

A couple of two hours later, he was on his way to Sakura's residence, which was known to be quite a big mansion, and was there with Takeru, Miyako, Hikari, Daisuke, and Iori packed in the back of Mr. Ishida's van. As they got there, they could hear a live band playing there. 

"Oh, that sure is some great voice that I hear. I wonder who it is...?" asked Ken. 

"Oh, that's Matt. Didn't I tell you that he had his own band?" said Takeru, who was sitting right next to Ken. Ken just looked a bit puzzled and said, "Oh, then I guess that I didn't tell you, right?" 

"No, you never did." 

"Well, guys, off you go. Takeru, can you please open the passenger door?" asked Ishida san. 

* * * 

"Sorezore aruiteku michi no, tochuu de oretachi deatta Minna chigau mono wo mune ni, idaiterun da..." 

~Wow... that's really good singing...~said Ken, a bit more awed at the blond guy that was singing in front of him... obviously not just to him, but mainly for everyone... 

"Tatakau kimochi no tonari ni, yowaki ni naru kokoro mo aru Sonna toki mo nakama wa, iru wasurerun ja nai 

Shimaikonderu buki wo... ima tsukawazu ni dou suru!? Hame hazushitatte ii ja nai ka Osoreru na massugu ni ikeba iin da 

Negai kanaeru kagi sono te ni aru Michi e tsunagaru doa sugu me no mae Wakiagaru kodou shinjireba ii Aratana sekai wo hiraku no sa " 

After that, Ken was just awed at the blond, and was mesmerized with his vocal genius. 

The only thing is... that as he was staring at him.. he also noticed that Yamato was staring straight back at him...! No mistake about that... mainly since they were in the `front row' of the masses of people assembled. 

"Wow... I guess that Yamato's a really great guitar player.. as well a really great singer." Said Ken rather a bit enthusiastically... 

"Well, he is... and after all that practice, it really pays off since he already has a contract.. I mean, the group has one, for doing these songs for anime series...the best way to promote your musical talents!" 

"Oh... really..." ~This sounds interesting...~ 

"Yeah.. what I heard was that he was going to sing for this new anime series called `Daijoubu Sakura sama!' I personally think that it might do very well." 

"Well... looks like he's got it going, ne...? well, I guess that I'll just try to do something.. good... see ya later, Takeru." 

"Yeah, see ya later, Ken." 

* * * 

Ken went into the house, and saw a couple of people playing Donkey Madness... something he used to play... and just sat there next to them, seeing the people play the game. 

All of a sudden, Yamato was at the door, and quickly sat down next to Ken. When this happened, there was an exodus on part of the other kids in the room that were playing and watching the game. They felt that they didn't want to be in the same place where Yamato was at, mainly because all the other girls usually are gushing at him. 

"Hey, how's it going, Ken...?" Said Yamato with a flashy smile. 

Ken, in turn, just momentarily panicked... for some unknown reason. 

"I... uh... I'm... I'm... yeah, I'm fine, thanks. How about you? I've seen how you're doing your performances, and I think that you're a great singer. Takeru told me that you have a contract with a TV anime series that's going to come out.. right...?" 

At this, he looked at Ken, and again smiled. 

"Ah, Takeru. Talking about things before I was going to tell everyone else. Well, yes, that's true. Teenage Wolves are going to hit big with this one, because the deal's from TV Tokyo." 

~TV Tokyo... be afraid, be very afraid, all you other rival animé producers... TV Tokyo is what launches every mostly successful anime singers, bands, as well as voice actors, into the big market.~ 

"TV Tokyo, huh...? Wow, you must have hit it big then. ^_^ That's good! I hope you do your best. Ganbatte, ne?" 

"Ah... hai, hai..." At this, He winked at Ken...who really was thinking ~Uh.. what's he doing.. is he trying to pick me up or something...? Is he Flirting with me...? Wow...~ 

"Well, Ken, I have to go. I have the next song in a couple of minutes, but I'll have to review that with the rest of the Band... I guess that I'll see you in a bit, ne? Ja." With that, He gave Ken another wink, flashed him a smile, and was off. 

Then, Taichi Yagami just happened to come by... "Oh, hey Ken, what's up? I saw Yamato leave here.. what happened?" 

"Uh... that's exactly what I'm trying to figure out myself." 

"Sou ka? Well, then, I guess I know what happened. It happened to me just a couple of...two years ago, but thank God it didn't affect our friend ship." 

"Well... what happened...?" 

"I just have a question to ask of you... do you like him?" 

This question obviously caught Ken off guard.. he just became speechless... 

"I can see that you're blushing... so I take it as a yes." 

"Uh... um.. I guess that you can maybe say that.. but please, don't let anyone know of this... please.. my mom would kill me..." 

"Hush up, and don't worry. I'm not a talker. It'll just stay between the three of us." 

Sakura- ooh... what does stay between Yamato, Taichi and ken chan? 

Ken- o.O;; I don't know. Ask Taichi. 

Taichi- It's a secret.. I can't tell anybody. 

Sakura- Yamato sama, what about you...? 

Yamato- I have to confess to saying... I'm NOT TELLING! 

Sakura- That's why I like you... you rebellious guy... 

All three guys- o.O;; 

Sakura- Well.. like my fic so far...? Please, R&R, and I'll write more.. Ii desu nee! 

R&R and you'll make me the happiest girl in the whole of L.A. (no, not Louisiana. L.A.) 

~*Sakura Soryuu Fujisaki Langely*~ 


	2. How do you tell a certain someone...?

Ichiban Kenato Fic, Part 2 

Ichiban Kenato Fic, Part 2 

^_^ Well, I'm still trying to see if anyone out there actually got my fic out there, but if not, then you can like read the first and second parts to it! 

Ken- Usual disclaimers apply: Sakura chan doesn't own Digimon; Toei, Saban, and others own it. 

Yamato- But she does, of course, own this fic, 

Taichi-And of the non-Digimon names that appear here...they are either real people, that might be mad at her if you use them, and if you do, she'll get you back… so do yourself a favor, and DON'T USE THESE NAMES!!! 

Daisuke- o.O;; well, let's see, if she uses the lyrics of some song in any language, just know that it is not hers, it is used for the sole purpose o making things interesting… and if she does use the lyrics of something in another language, she'll TRY to come up with some translations... Again, she'll TRY. No promises. She will include the real author, if applicable, at the end of the story. So, don't sue her! 

Takeru-(while looking at Sakura, and with a blush) But aside from that, enjoy the fic! 

Sakura- Well, I guess that covers the usual disclaimers… Oh yeah, I need to say the dedication! 

As we all know, this is a dedication to my dearest friend… KUPOKE CHAN!!! 

^-^ Ok, Kupoke chan, Arigatou Gozaimasu for the anime that you've lent me, and Arigatou again for all the cool things... ne? ^-^ 

Again, the NOTE-THIS TAKES PLACE AFTER THE DD'S LAST FOUGHT… WHEN THEY'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL. OLDER DD'S APPROXIMATELY SOPHOMORES IN COLLEGE. 

Well, on with the fic! 

*Part Two of…* *I just am…* 

"This'll stay between the three of us, ok…?" 

Ken let out a long, thankful sigh…"Thanks, I really need the backing... or else I bet that my parents will kill me…" 

"Sure, no problem." 

Ken just looked at the guy in front of him. Thank God, that Taichi was one of his best friends, or else, if either Takeru, Daisuke, or anyone else would know… God, he DIDN'T want to know. 

After talking with Taichi for a while, Sora came into the room, and glomped Taichi. She was then hugging him affectionately, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. After regaining her composure, she noticed Ken, and blushed a bit. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Ken. I should have noticed you earlier." She looked at him, and felt something. Something was wrong with this boy, and it was only obvious to her. 

"Ken, is something wrong?" 

He looked at her with wide eyes. 

"Uh, what? Iie, Nande mo nai (it's nothing)." 

She regarded him more carefully, and dismissed the thought. She smiled at him, and said 

"Well, Tai chan, want to go see Yamato sing another round? I heard that he said that it was for someone here tonight… I just wonder who the song might be. Want to go there with us, Ken Kun?" 

Ken pondered on this a bit. ~For someone special…? Masaka (it can't be)… he wouldn't do that… for me. ~ 

"Oh, um, uh, yeah, sorry about the delay, I was just thinking about something." He quickly replied. 

*** 

"Itsuno manika bokura nanigenaku deatta 

(Before we were aware of each other, we met unintentionally) 

Yasashi sayose atte kakurenbo wa tsuzu no, sou sa 

(Drawing kindness together; when will the game of hide-and-seek ever end? oh yeah) 

No, wanna sell your soul shareta kiiroi tacchi (touch) de 

(A touch of classy yellow) 

No, forget smile again itsumo odotte itai dake 

(I just want to dance forever) 

Nee oikakete oikakete shiroi kaze 

(Come on, chase after it, chase after it, a white wind) 

Nee Koi ninatte ai ninatte hane hirogetai 

(Come on, it becomes passion, it becomes love, I want to spread my wings) 

Nee ii koto mo warui koto mo subete tashite 

(Come on, all good things, all bad things, add them both together) 

Ni de watte umaku ikite toki o koetai… 

(Let's divide them by two, and live well from now on...) 

*** 

Again, Ken was awed at what this handsome blond could come up with in an improvised song that was actually very beautiful. Good thing that Hikari was taping the whole thing and Takeru had his digital camera, so he could probably make him a copy. 

~What's with me? I'm thinking about him too much… right? ~ 

*No, you've always had him in the back of your mind ever since you laid eyes on him. All you did was just ignore the feeling until now.* 

~Whaaaaat? Who's that? ~ 

*Why, your subconscious. I was getting really tired of you just not telling him how you have always felt. Come on, look at yourself, Ken. You're gushing over him silently, from a far... you're mesmerized by how he looks, the way he sings, his sexy voice, the way he dresses up, the smell of his cologne when he was sitting next to you, the way you blushed and momentarily panicked at his question. Admit it, Ken, you like him, and there's no escaping that thought. Just tell him how you feel, and all will be well. Trust me.* 

~Wait a second… how could I have a conversation with myself as if I were talking to another person? ~ 

*Well, because we are usually separated, that's why. I can't explain, but I'll leave you right away. Just remember the words that I told you. Later.* 

And with that, his subconscious left him. 

~Damn… so I'm supposed to think that he indeed really likes me when I know that he was just being very friendly with me… or is it just friendliness…? ~ 

"Ken, come on! We're going to go to the main salon and eat!" yelled Miyako, since she was a good distance away. That snapped him back into reality. 

"Oh, yeah. I'll be there. Wait up!" He ran over to the massive house. 

*** 

"Well, Guys, I thank you all for coming! And, well, as we all know, this party is for Sakura Sama, since it is her birthday. I hope that you haven't eaten a lot, because we've prepared a feast for you all!" Said the main majordomo of the Fujisaki residence. 

"Why is she even in our school if she's this loaded?" asked a very confused Miyako. 

"Come on, get with the program! Everyone knows that she goes there because it has the best fencing club in all of the area!" Replied Daisuke, who for once made a very intelligent remark. 

"Yeah, don't you remember that she's the captain of the team, and of how many times she's made it up to the championships, and how many times she's won?" Said the bearer of hope. ~And a very good reputation at that. ~ 

"Yeah, and she's second to none in our soccer club, aside from Ken here," said Hikari, with a smile, "you guys know each other, right Ken?" 

He looked at the others a bit reluctantly. "Yeah.. I know her. She's a great person, and not a bit stuck up as you'd think that she might be. It's just her parents that make her look like that. If it were her, she'd be going places with us." 

"Oh, is that so?" said a very familiar voice behind them. 

A slight wave of pink rolled over Ken's face. 

"Oh, hey, Yamato. As usual, I taped the whole thing!" 

"Thanks, Takeru" 

"Oh, Yamato, I taped it, so that you can at least remember the improvisation that you did up there." 

"Oh, did you? Thanks, I thought that Miki would do it for me, but he forgot the tape recorder." 

"The keyboard player?" 

"Yeah, that's him alright. So, shall we get seated? Sakura's about to come in." 

After much ruckus in the big hall/salon, everyone was seated, and the tables were quite long. Per chance, Yamato got seated next to Ken, who at the instant lost his appetite, while increasing the hue of the pale pink to a much darker one. 

"Well, looks like we'll be together, ne?" 

"Oh… um… uh… h-hai." 

"People, Sakura's going to be here right now…" 

*Much silence as Sakura enters the room, quite formally dressed in a black suit, red shirt, black dressing shoes, hair extended, and looked really nice.* 

"Wow… boy does SHE look hot…" said Takeru 

"Come on, she isn't twice as nice as I am" scolded a very mad Miyako. 

"Hush up, I want to hear what she's going to say." Said a very anxious Hikari. 

"Hello everyone. I thank you very much for coming to this party at my humble abode. I would also like to thank Yamato Ishida and the group Teenage Wolves for singing for your entertainment tonight. Yamato, again I thank you very much for being here tonight." 

At this, Yamato just rose from his seat, smiled, and said "No problem, Sakura chan. Anytime you need us, we'll be there for you." He then sat down. 

"Sakura… chan?" asked all the others. 

"Yeah, we've known each other for a bit." 

"And again, I'd also like to give my thanks to…" 

"Yeah, yeah, yadda yadda yadda…" a bored Miyako began droning off… 

"My friends from my High School, Odaiba high. Especially those that have helped me improve in either at schoolwork, or in Sports. Takeru, Hikari, I thank you very much in the academic side. Ken, I thank you very much for giving me some of those pointers in Soccer." Sakura Smiled at them. 

First reactions for the three of them: 

Hikari- smile, slight blush of embarrassment. 

Takeru- deep blush at the mention of his name, and because Sakura thanked him first, and a smile directed towards Sakura. 

Ken- just a deeper blush since Yamato was at his side at the mentioning, plus a smile just to be polite. 

Yamato looked over at Ken, and smiled at him, because he thought hat it was just nice of him to help someone out in sports. ~Well, he's smart, handsome, and as proved right now, very kind, and very modest at the mention… since he's blushing. ~ 

*** 

"Well, guys, did you have fun there?" asked a smiling Ishida san, while he was driving towards the homes of the kids. 

"Yeah, I had a blast, except for the dinner though, it was a bit too formal." Replied Miyako. 

"I was happy to go there after all, Dad" said a very genki Takeru, who had pink neatly rolled onto his face, at the fact that Sakura was actually calling him by his first name instead of his last name. 

"I really like it because we did a lot of stuff there." Said Hikari. 

"I just liked he fact that they had a dessert buffet aside from the great food that they served there!" Exclaimed a very happy Daisuke. 

"What about you, Ken?" asked Ishida san. 

This caught Ken off guard, since he was thinking about Yamato… Yamato... Yamato… 

How could this one guy make his heartbeat so fast that he thought that it'd almost burst? 

How many times had he had that blush on his face when he met up with Yamato? 

How many times had he stuttered some words when he asked a question? 

How many times had he been thinking of him in the past? 

Was this the reason why he wasn't focused? 

"Oh, I... I had a great time there." 

"Guess what, guys? Want to go to my place and have a drink of tea so that I can rest up? I've been up all night doing a report, so please accept it." 

"Okay by us" said the digidestined in a chorus. 

*** 

"Oh, Dad, you're here. Good. Need me to make some tea for you?" Asked a very concerned Yamato to his father. 

"Yeah, and I brought the others along too, so make a big pot full of tea." 

Yamato's face lit up at the idea. 

"All of them?" 

"Yeah. I was a bit tired. I guess that I need to get some sleep…" 

"No problem, Dad, I could drive them afterwards if you want me to." 

"Really? Thanks a lot, Yamato, I appreciate it." 

"Hey, what's a son for?" 

*** 

After the affair of Tea and cookies, as Yamato promised, he drove around the DD's to their respective homes. Ken of course, was last since he lived in the other side of town. 

"Well, Ken, I think that it's just you and me now, ne?" 

"Um... uh... yeah... I guess so." 

Ken was sitting to Yamato's left, and was kind of silent for most of the whole ride towards his house. 

"Ken, think that I can tell you something?" asked Yamato as he went somewhere else that was obviously not going directly towards Ken's house. 

"Um… yeah, fire away, I guess." 

"Do you like anyone?" 

A lump was now created in Ken's throat. Asking such a personal question… but then again, he was the love of his life… 

"Yeah, I guess that you can say that I like a certain someone very much." 

"Oh, really? You see, I like someone too. But the thing is that I don't know how to tell them that I like them." 

By now, they had stopped at the parking lot of the Tamachi Park. 

"Neither do I. I kinda have a problem about how to tell this person that I like how I feel. But I think that I know how to start." 

"Oh, yeah? How would you start? You could think of me as the person that you like, and then I can do the same to the one that I like." 

"Well, first off, I'd say… I'll use your name, ok? I'd say, `Yamato, you know how we've known each other for a long time, and that I have respected you. But I also have to tell you that I esteem you more that just a mere friend. I… I guess that I'm trying to say that I love you.' That's what I would say." 

"Oh, really? Then, I guess that I'd have to remember that." 

There was a slight silence that cut into Ken's soul. 

"Ken?" 

"Yes, Yamato?" 

"You know what? I've been thinking. I've known you for quite some time now, and I hold you in much more greater esteem than just a friend. I think that I am just trying to tell you that I… Um, well… I'm trying to say that I love you." 

And with that said, Yamato leaned over to a very surprised Ken, and kissed him squarely in the lips. 

(End of this chapter) 

Sakura- well, just because this chapter had such a nice ending, it does not mean that the things stop right here! 

All the guys- o.O;; Oh, really…? 

Sakura- Yup, I intend to write more… and have a bit more plot to this! *Smiles and giggles a bit too insanely* 

Takeru- *While Blushing* Sakura chan, please, get a slight hold of yourself! Uh… Anou… 

Yamato- Well, all I know is that if Sakura is the writer, I'm in for it this time. 

Ken- I just wonder what'll happen to us, Yamato…? 

Sakura- o.O;; 

Nothing THAT drastic… or maybe it WILL be drastic. ^-^ thanks for the Idea, Yamato chan! 

All the guys- o.O;; Yamato!!! What the hell are you going to do now, huh? 

Yamato- Hey, take it easy... she likes me, so she wouldn't dream of hurting me... right, Sakura chan? 

Sakura-Oh, I guess that you don't know me very well, do you? 

All except Takeru- o.O;; Boy are we in for it now. 

Takeru- *-* Boy am I going to be in for it now! 

Sakura- Oh, and as promised, this is the title of the song that was inserted here, so Don't sue me! 

"Super Drive", the opening theme song to "Gravitation". It does not say who the artist or lyricist is. 

So, everybody, please, R&R, and you'll make me the most happiest girl in this here place! ^-^ 

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